I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
