i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize