i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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