that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
