your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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