addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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