I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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