His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
