i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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