is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
