; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
