Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
