I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize