this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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