I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
