It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
