I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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