Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
