It's Friday. Sex?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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