You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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