I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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