Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
