I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize