found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
