4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
