You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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