Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
