I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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