Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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