I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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