So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Non-Jews are for practice
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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