we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
