My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
