i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
