i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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