there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
