I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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