i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
