So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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