how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
