And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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