summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
