May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Is it penis luge time yet?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize