So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
