He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
