I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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