Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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