You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
