So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
