i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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