wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
