One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm passing your future prison.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
