Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
