Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
