I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
