Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
