Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
