Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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