when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
