What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
