I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
