Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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