Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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