We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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