just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
