the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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