Me too!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
