That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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