Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize