You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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