i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
