Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
