Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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