I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
