they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize