i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
