Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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